"Now say Thank You"

"You know what grinds my gears ?" (True Family Guy fans stand up)

I hate it when someone does something nice for you, you say thank you because your mother raised u...not dragged you up. And you don't get as much as a head nod for being polite. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't rant about this minor infraction, however it happened to me three times in all of 3 minutes; needless to say I was a little overwhelmed. (Sidenote: you can only be overwhelmed or underwhelmed, never whelmed)
Newho. I think it is completely ridicilous for adults to constantly make an effort to make children say please and thank you over and over again when they are young for things such as bottles or food, when these sayings are lost in infantile amnesia or just plain forgotten as you get older. For those of you in blog land please remember to be polite and say please and thank you for they trully are the magic words.

From the mouths of Babes

Her Love

No other love can compare I swear
Shes the only one I know that will always be there
She loves me so much she beats the hell out of me so the world doesnt have to
She makes me try to be more accountable for the things that I do
Must hurt her to sit idly by and watch me make my mistakes
But she loves me that much, whatever it takes
Regardless of the grief and burdens I give she still weathers through
She does it so effortlessly, proof that her love is true
Thankful that I have someone to pick me up when I fall
She's always knows when I need her, don't even have to call
A kiss, a hug, a homecooked meal
Tiny pieces that show how a mother's love is so real

Need You Bad

I find myself completely in love with this song...Sining it extra loud and mighty off key while with friends or in a car kind of like this song. Funny how the brain works. Your subconscious will take a hold of something that your conscious isn't man enough to face and hold on to it until you get a clue. Well my subconscious let me in on to why I like the song so much. Apparently He lied to me and had a relationship with Jazmine Sullivan simultaneously with me because there's no other explanation as to how perfectly the lyrics of the song embody my feelings.

If i had you back in my world
I would prove that i could be a better girl
oh oh oh
If you let me back in
I would sho'nuff never never let you go again(hey baby)
I was so foolish to ever leave your side,
searching for what was right before my eyes
It was me who didn't realize
'till it was gone but now i know i need you in my life

Boy i need you bad as my heartbeat, (bad like the food i eat)
Bad as the air i breath, (baby i want you bad)
I need you bad i cant take this pain, (bad i cant take this pain)
Boy I'm 'bout to go insane (baby i need you bad)
I need you,
I need you,
What i gotta do (baby i want you bad)
I need you,
I need you,
Do it all for you (baby i need you)
Baby there's nothing i wouldn't do to get back what we had when love was true.
(oh oh oh)
No lie I'd give up all i got
Just so i could get back in my spot (Ooooh)

No...I do not think that throwing yourself at someone like this is all good in the hood, however if you know you messed up...the reality and the consequences of the actions eventually catch up and you feel it. It hurts. Life is like a tootsie pop sometimes. You gotta work through a really hard shell, maybe break a tooth trying to crack it but eventually you will arrive to a chocolate center. Naturally I have to get the rock hard lollipop that damn near cut my tongue. It's OK tho. I gotta chocolate center, it was promised to me.

Maybe Not

"I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you
I need you like a heart needs a beat, it's nothing new
Yeah
I loved you with a fire red now it's turning blue
And you say
Sorry lord, the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid

It's too late to apologize"

Too late to apologize? No. Too late to try again or ever be given a second chance? Yes. But definitely never too late to apologize for wronging someone else; regardless of whether or not you have wronged yourself and the other person was a casualty in your own self destruction.

As per usual, as much as things change....they stay the same. Freud understood the human condition for self destruction in writing his Discontents; thankfully there is a major difference between understanding and acceptance. I understand but do not accept my fate of self destruction, although time and time again actions show that self destruction must be my only desire. Time heals ALL wounds and transgressions. Yours and Mine.

Different

I've come to realize that my blogs have no real direction per se. I usually blog when I feel like my head is going to explode with something. And today that something is Chrisette Michele. I'm sorry all true neo-soul fans out there but I getting reaquainted with the sound and have just fallen in love with this woman's voice. (kinda how Eric did for Ariel - Little Mermaid whaddup) But for real, her voice is melodic and enchanting I have been hitting the snooze button way to long on this one. Excuse me while I leave work....walk to Phenominal (which is the opposite direction from my house) to purchase this album

For Real

"Hell is empty, all the devils are here" - William Shakespeare

Enjoying It

Random Person: What you doing today?

Me : Nothing much...enjoying my extended vacation

Random Person : So basically you're doing nothing with your life?

Me: Yup, it's a full time job and I can't take a break from it right now, gotta call you back.

I haven't enjoyed a break this much in as long as I can remember. Not too long and not to short. Just enough time to revamp, and rejuvenate myself for the hard work that I know I have ahead of me in the semester to come. This entire year as I reflect, I feel as though I have had the same type of growth spurt as a 13 year old boy. My voice has changed- Its a lot softer, less angry and a hell of a lot less loud. I've gotten a lot taller as well - I hold my head up a little bit higher and walk with more confidence. I have matured major. He-said-she said and getting the last word are things that I have no use for anymore. And damnit; it feels AMAZING! And I owe it all to this 3 week break where I had nothing to do but enjoy my own company, think and spend some quality time praying; with his help I have put a lot of things into perspective and I feel indestructible, unshakable and lethal to anyone who may try and deter me.

::insert exhale here::