My Name

I'm starting to kinda like the sound of my own last name
Don't wanna hold it forever, but I'm a strong woman and I would like, although I do not need, an even stronger man to support me.
And if he don't hold me down like my Dad does then his name and mine are nothing more than oil and vinger and they simply dont mix
They need to sound so good together they make sense.
I want our names to match like mac 'n' cheese or PB&J.... better yet, I want it to sound soothing like Cambells, just Mmmm Mmmm Good!
I want a name that commands my first name to the point that there is a magnetic, undeniable force that needs the two to be joined at the hip forever.
They type of last name that in my eyes is so powerful that it can protect the identity of my first by allowing me to use Mrs as a shield of honor and the first name you have to go thru before even becoming aquaintented, because my man, simply doesn't play the "everyone has my wife's name in their mouth game"
Therefore my king, you must put your best self forward because you are now the owner of a thorough-bred and you need to make sure you're a hair faster than me so you can catch me if I miss something in my blindspot

Stick It (Dreams II)

I got the dreams, I got the juice.... hard part over

Now what do I do?

How do I make them stick?

Maybe, I should just swallow some glue and pray I don't get sick

"Get your head out the clouds"

"Get a grip"

Little do they now I have a firm grasp on this dream and I can't let it slip

Can't let it vanish into thin air

I need it to survive, need it to thrive, I need this dream to keep me alive

It's like bringing a knife to a gun fight

Bringin Dream into a room of pesimist.

He almost always looses, that is unless your dream is swift

quick and agile on it's feet

able to shake the haters and those who linger in disbelief

Shield it from them, misery loves company and birds of a feather flock together

so let your head stay in the clouds, thats where it belongs

right along with the eagles and always clear weather.

Not Just a Speach

They've told you to do it since the beginning of time

"Dream big, you can be anything you want to be"

At some point down the line, the word dream began to take a negative connotation in my life. It became synonomous with fantasy and unattainable. I guess because some peoples dreams come true, and not all dreams are good. - They're downright nightmares

And as per usual, it just takes one bad apple to spoil the bunch. So dreaming became obsolete. Let alone dreaming big and fearlessly.

Fortunately for some, they untangle the cord of this game of telephone and get the message clear. Dreaming is ok. Dreaming bigger is even better. And stop at nothing to make your dream a reality.

Thank God for the dreamers. With out them where would we be? Martin had a dream. And so did Israel. Lets not forget about Joseph. These are some of the greatest dreams ever recorded

So shout outs to those with the courage and faith to dream, it is the essence of life. Making them come to fruition is simply the icing on the cake

I kinda like this one. =)

Hey Ya'll!

Ok, So to the 4 or 5 of you that read this blog (and I think that is a MAJOR overstatment) My apologies, life has been getting in the way of blogging. Took me a while to realize but maybe it is better that I write the ish down, who knows? Might make a decent book one of these days.

"I been gone for a minute now I'm back with the jump off!"

I'm F@&^in' Up (oldie frm the archives)

So, needless to say, I've been facing a lot of adversities. Then again, which adult who is self suffienct doesn't have adversity. Mine however involve a personal issue with learning how to say F U to someone and trully mean it. I would LOVE to be able to look at or think of a person with complete distain and hate them. And yes, hate is a strong word... blah blah blah and you shouldn't wear white after labor day but the shit happens.

While at church today, (I finally went) I heard probably the most ridiculous thing I heard my pastor say ever. Please, do not misunderstand. My pastor is a learned brother. Humble, wholesome and very real with his. Apparently there is a little acronym floating around in Vaction Bible School's across the nation that preach J-O-Y. This is the order in which you should love. J for Jesus. (Ok, I'm totally with that.) O for others. (Huh?) and Y for you. (yes ,you finish dead last) Seriously, I kinda been rockin with this for a while. I thought about it and time and time again, no matter how many times I have been caught butt naked and beaten with a wet rag by some raggedy assed people I STILL look for the good, believe good excuses and try to cope.

.... theres a patient in the ER high on PCP.... im pretty sure some shit like this drove him to it.. lol. excuse me while I consult my pusher

Funk

Im in a funk. And I want to write. But I can't think of anything to write. I'm feelin a whole lot of shit but in no means want to do a complaining or sappy post. Shit happens and I seriously think this year was one for the history books. I'm different. It took a year and a day but I think I'm jaded and it may or may not be a good thing. I think the rose colored glasses that i once wore are now a thing of the past and I'm a little bit more selfish and a lot more skeptical of others. Down right not trusting people. Like seriously. I feel like I can't trust a soul in the world right now, maybe with the exception of my mother who honestly can't be my best friend because talking to her at times is an incredible testimony and trial of my patience.

Ex

1) "Mom, I really need a car"... her response

" Well, I went to church and someone drove there this one time and we had lunch after and the lunch was good even though I didn't expect it to be."

Seriously

In the midst of this tranisition maybe I gotta cut the umbilical cord. Or I may hang myself for being so frustrated.

*******

I've been on this binge with Twilight. I think I will right a post about my love affair with the saga soon.

*******

I had a final today, didnt study a lick and showed up 45 minutes late

*******

I found out yesterday that emotional drinkin is simply not for me

*******

Fuck this, I need a pedicure.

1

Best Medicine

Aiight, 3:45 AM, typing a paper. Thoughts are all over the place. So I took a study break and got my extreme creative writing on. Naturally it was inspired by my paper I'm writing for Pathophysiology. Guess what topic we're on? STDs and urinary and reproductive disorders. Guess who is highest on the totem pole for getting HIV? You, guessed it, black women. Guess how many of those black women contracted the disease from their MONOGOMOUS partner? More than half. Hope more of you knew this information prior to reading this. Hope this is no news. If not. Wake up ladies. Wake up fellas. SHIT IS REAL!



*****

Baby u aint Babu and I ain’t got no Lupe Cool Thoughts for you
Only thing I got for you is heat
Your face is about to get stomped on like my sister steppin beats
I have no idea how you got time to be up in those streets
When I just bought some Egyptian cotton sheets
Lets not forget the candles or the bubble bath I ran
Still doesn’t make a difference to this simple assed man
Cant see that he’s passin up a Mercedes for the mystery van
So go on ahead and leave dependability to satisfy your curiousity
You will be satisfied at first but soon realize the monstrosity
Trying to get full off of a snack wrap
Not knowin that that nasty bitch would make you get the clap
Now you thought you come on back to old faithful
This poem lets you know that I’m nothing but hateful
And you’re lucky disease got to you before I did
Cuz hunny , you would be runnin ‘round this bitch wit no eyelids
Then maybe you would be able to see a little better
Make you would soak up that the grass aint always greener where its wetter
Thought u were big pimpin
Now your third leg is limpin
Please don’t get mad when I laugh, didn’t mean to sin
But in my case laughter is the best medicine