Unfortunately, I'm one of those folks who really but a lot of value in being busy. If you're sitting on the couch all the time doing nothing productive with you're time you are lazy. Point. Blank. Period. Welp, that couch potato was me for a minute. But I'm baaaaaaccccckkk! This is my first Monday back and I'm too excited.
I didn't meet my full potential last semester (code for I fucked up royally)But I'm actually really hyped about these classes. I wasn't too thrilled about my major last semester but I feel like I'm fitting in nicely with my surroundings. Guess Mom's praying paid off. =)
Monday, January 26, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Notorious
I'm sorry, but if one more person asks me if I've seen NOTORIOUS Imma scream. I have no intentions of seeing that shit. It makes me sick the way Voletta Wallace and Puffy have capitalized so greatly on the death of Biggie. Ok, so Puffy did it. They were merely friends. But his mom?! That shit is fucked up, I'm sorry. That's your child. I'm sure that everyone is entitled to how they grieve and everyone grieves differently, but one has to admit the dollars may have had some influence on her decision to let Puffy pimp her son and his legacy like a ho to the masses.
How Important is IT exactly?
Sadly, a person's past sexual history greatly effects their current sexual relationship. There are many contributing factors to the downfalls and joys of sex with any sexual partner...such as level of comfort, trust, level of experience and willingness to move towards uncharted territory.
For myself, I am starting to realize that this sex shit, only complicates stuff sometimes. In the past I have been ferocious in my quest for some good good. Often misusing the beauty and intentions of sex (according to God) for another way to get high. We all know that the release of orgasm feels like a fuckin drug...(if it doesn't, then hunny, you are doing it wrong) Welp, apparently, when you're feeling someone, and you are having sex with them as a means of expressing your feelings, they don't exactly feel so good about being used for their goodies. Apparently, it doesnt feel good to the person to just be another casuality or notch on your post of conquest.
So I learned a lot frm Relationship 101. Thought I would switch it up for Possible Relationship 102 (can u tell I'm in school by the course listings)and a sista still can't win! I went from having a lil bit to now being presented with what feels like an ultimatum. Get abstinent or get lost! ::insert gasp here:: I really didn't see me going out like that. I'm finally settling into a new dude, in the phase where I can't keep my hands off of him...I waited for what feels like an eterenity and BOOM. KABLOW. BYE BYE Birdie???!! I must say... I was jih like blown. LOL
Which leads me to my point. How important is it? We clearly feel each other for reasons beyond the surface, sex isn't what the gig was built upon but the benefit package is freaking awesome. So can things last with the termination of some of my benefits? Or is strike in order? It feels like some deliberation with the union is in order. We need to see where we can give up some stuff in order to win and gain the most from the job. We're considering losing our sex benefit in exchange for companionship, friendship, trust, confidence, lastingness, playfulness and mind intimacy like no other. With SEPTA and the MTA possibly losing their vision, dental, and healthcare. It seems that me and my union may have struck up a better deal.
Seeing things in black and white makes a difference.
For myself, I am starting to realize that this sex shit, only complicates stuff sometimes. In the past I have been ferocious in my quest for some good good. Often misusing the beauty and intentions of sex (according to God) for another way to get high. We all know that the release of orgasm feels like a fuckin drug...(if it doesn't, then hunny, you are doing it wrong) Welp, apparently, when you're feeling someone, and you are having sex with them as a means of expressing your feelings, they don't exactly feel so good about being used for their goodies. Apparently, it doesnt feel good to the person to just be another casuality or notch on your post of conquest.
So I learned a lot frm Relationship 101. Thought I would switch it up for Possible Relationship 102 (can u tell I'm in school by the course listings)and a sista still can't win! I went from having a lil bit to now being presented with what feels like an ultimatum. Get abstinent or get lost! ::insert gasp here:: I really didn't see me going out like that. I'm finally settling into a new dude, in the phase where I can't keep my hands off of him...I waited for what feels like an eterenity and BOOM. KABLOW. BYE BYE Birdie???!! I must say... I was jih like blown. LOL
Which leads me to my point. How important is it? We clearly feel each other for reasons beyond the surface, sex isn't what the gig was built upon but the benefit package is freaking awesome. So can things last with the termination of some of my benefits? Or is strike in order? It feels like some deliberation with the union is in order. We need to see where we can give up some stuff in order to win and gain the most from the job. We're considering losing our sex benefit in exchange for companionship, friendship, trust, confidence, lastingness, playfulness and mind intimacy like no other. With SEPTA and the MTA possibly losing their vision, dental, and healthcare. It seems that me and my union may have struck up a better deal.
Seeing things in black and white makes a difference.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
I'm Over Ya'll
So I've been rocking with a real fake it till you make it state of mind. There was a pastor I used to listen to and he would say if you claim something that God would make it true. Practice makes habit(not perfect). All of this is to say that I have decided to make the lyrics to Mary J Blige's "Just Fine" really how I think of myself. For a while I wasn't to "fine". I wasn't doing what Mary said is those lyrics.
"So I like what I see when I’m looking at me
When I’m walking past the mirror
No stress through the night, at a time in my life
Ain’t worried about if you feel it
Got my head on straight, I got my mind right
I aint gonna let you kill it
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just…..FINE!"
I really didn't for a while. That shit is sad to be honest with you reader. I used to look at girlier females (not sure if thats a word) and think "hmmm....maybe I should be a little bit more refined" Most of my friends... Mark in particular lol, have determined I'm just a sexy man. Some times I walk like my balls are in the way. I cuss like a sailer. I smoke blacks, and drink 22oz of Heineken at a time. I don't always cross my legs. I swing first, ask questions later (but I have to be VERY provoked) And I eat like Paul Bunyon. Seriously
This is not to say that I am not lady. And to many I am not by their standards. I've just decided to send a huge FUCK YOU to the commentators. I can hold my own. I can be as sexy as a VS model, I'm confident as peacock. And put a sista in a suit (with a skirt) u can't tell me nothing!
So I saw some chicks last night who I can tell looked at me a ways for how I was acting. Not that it was rude or inappropriate because clearly I live in North Philly where class is soley the definition of going to school. I had a couple of drinks, got a lil tipsed, ate about 6 chicken wings loaded with hot sauce (very sloppy like I might add) Got a lil emotional and smoked my life away. Usually I would get up in the morning and feel mildly disappointed in myself. NOT TODAY! lol. I looked in the mirror and felt good as shit!
(I never really got why people say stuff like that. "Good as shit" how good is shit? "Cold as hell" Riiiggghht. Winter...when it's 10 degrees is cold as the devils house)
So I liked what I saw, I own the adopted attitude n it felt great. =)
Once again, Mary came to the rescue
"So I like what I see when I’m looking at me
When I’m walking past the mirror
No stress through the night, at a time in my life
Ain’t worried about if you feel it
Got my head on straight, I got my mind right
I aint gonna let you kill it
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just…..FINE!"
I really didn't for a while. That shit is sad to be honest with you reader. I used to look at girlier females (not sure if thats a word) and think "hmmm....maybe I should be a little bit more refined" Most of my friends... Mark in particular lol, have determined I'm just a sexy man. Some times I walk like my balls are in the way. I cuss like a sailer. I smoke blacks, and drink 22oz of Heineken at a time. I don't always cross my legs. I swing first, ask questions later (but I have to be VERY provoked) And I eat like Paul Bunyon. Seriously
This is not to say that I am not lady. And to many I am not by their standards. I've just decided to send a huge FUCK YOU to the commentators. I can hold my own. I can be as sexy as a VS model, I'm confident as peacock. And put a sista in a suit (with a skirt) u can't tell me nothing!
So I saw some chicks last night who I can tell looked at me a ways for how I was acting. Not that it was rude or inappropriate because clearly I live in North Philly where class is soley the definition of going to school. I had a couple of drinks, got a lil tipsed, ate about 6 chicken wings loaded with hot sauce (very sloppy like I might add) Got a lil emotional and smoked my life away. Usually I would get up in the morning and feel mildly disappointed in myself. NOT TODAY! lol. I looked in the mirror and felt good as shit!
(I never really got why people say stuff like that. "Good as shit" how good is shit? "Cold as hell" Riiiggghht. Winter...when it's 10 degrees is cold as the devils house)
So I liked what I saw, I own the adopted attitude n it felt great. =)
Once again, Mary came to the rescue
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Your Child
My girl 'Nita who I mention so frequently in my blogs or of people who I am immensely proud of is giving me constant reminders in her blogs (Lyrical Genius link to your right) to be vulnerable and be candid and fearless in expression... im trying it on for size and puttin it all out there.
The new man in my life, who I am more than head over heals for. Who treats me like the queen that I am, who makes me smile with out trying, who is responsible for very sudden and very necessary changes in life is having a major change in his life. Because he is so important to me, most of the changes in his life effect me. Not on a huge scale most of the times but a lot because I care... I'm just that type of chick.
He could be having a baby. Like a real one. Like a smelly diaper, wah wah, cute little bundle of joy who is your responsibility for a minimum of 18 years according to the law. Can we say I am jih like blown! Now the kid isn't here yet and him and the BM are contemplating making termination of pregnancy an option (abortion for all ya'll slow folk)
Apparently '08 was a great year for fucking either raw, or a year in which condom manufactuers nationwide were skimping on the quality of the product and having condoms break all willey nilly. I know at least 5 people this yr alone who were or are pregnant and the shit is sad. Its sad for a host of reasons.
1. Kids are innocent
2. I am pro-coice but I am also very pro-life. I have nothing against women who think it is in the best interest of them and their unborn seed to end their lives.
However I think, for my own personal beliefs that I wouldnt be able to do it. And I am ashamed of myself for wanting this woman, who I do not know from a can of paint to do something that I could never see myself doing for the selfish reason, that I want to be with her childs father. Simply sad.
Women get criminalized in these situations. Either the woman is defamed and made out to be a crazy bitch or ho. And of course "that baby aint mine" syndrome sets in. And she's the one who is probably trying to trap you. But when the the bed was a rocking and those boots were a knocking...shes was all you could think about. You loved her. You cradled her and gave her the same mean ass dick that you give me. So lets not make things what they are not simply because the shit has hit the diaper. I'm just saying.
Men don't have it too easy either. They get hit with the "this nigga aint doing right by me" bit when CLEARLY you were on your BS when ya'll were together! Then there are the poor men who are such stand up guys that they will take care of the child that isnt theirs simply bc they feel like its the right thing to do. And to those men I salute you. I hold every father to the tone that my Daddy has set. I love that man, and he has always done his very best to do right by me and my 4 sisters... and his stepson frm his ex wife. Always being there for the 6 of us and our mothers if necessesary. I wish his breed of man was not such an endangered species.
And finally, my hat goes off to the women who stick by their men and the men who stick by their women NO MATTER WHAT! They don't care which chick is having their mans baby. And because they love their man or woman so much, the child which is a direct reflection of the person they love gets nothing but treated like their own child. No matter how much they can look at that child and see that it is not theirs they love that child unconditionally. My stepmom is one of those type of women. My mothers mom was that type of a woman , and lastly my man's mom is that type of a woman. The question now, (seeing as how this is my blog and all. lol) Am I ready, and do I have what it takes to be that type of a woman?
I think that question is easily answered since I am asking the question. If I was certain there would be no doubt in my mind what so over. But seeing as how our relationship never really left the ground , and we've only been rockin for a few months tops, our foundation aint sturdy enough for that heavy of a load. Love however in my opinion fortifies bonds and grounds as shaky as these. It makes a temporary fortress for that person so that they can cross this bridge of life with someone who loves and cares for them. And maybe when the purpose is served the person bows out gracefully. Who knows?
When he told me the dilema. Which I am realizing is becoming all but too common in this society in this day and age I could do nothing but think of this song, although it isnt super relative. It was all I could sing while washing his dishes at his house.
Funny how Mary has a song for every occasion.
The new man in my life, who I am more than head over heals for. Who treats me like the queen that I am, who makes me smile with out trying, who is responsible for very sudden and very necessary changes in life is having a major change in his life. Because he is so important to me, most of the changes in his life effect me. Not on a huge scale most of the times but a lot because I care... I'm just that type of chick.
He could be having a baby. Like a real one. Like a smelly diaper, wah wah, cute little bundle of joy who is your responsibility for a minimum of 18 years according to the law. Can we say I am jih like blown! Now the kid isn't here yet and him and the BM are contemplating making termination of pregnancy an option (abortion for all ya'll slow folk)
Apparently '08 was a great year for fucking either raw, or a year in which condom manufactuers nationwide were skimping on the quality of the product and having condoms break all willey nilly. I know at least 5 people this yr alone who were or are pregnant and the shit is sad. Its sad for a host of reasons.
1. Kids are innocent
2. I am pro-coice but I am also very pro-life. I have nothing against women who think it is in the best interest of them and their unborn seed to end their lives.
However I think, for my own personal beliefs that I wouldnt be able to do it. And I am ashamed of myself for wanting this woman, who I do not know from a can of paint to do something that I could never see myself doing for the selfish reason, that I want to be with her childs father. Simply sad.
Women get criminalized in these situations. Either the woman is defamed and made out to be a crazy bitch or ho. And of course "that baby aint mine" syndrome sets in. And she's the one who is probably trying to trap you. But when the the bed was a rocking and those boots were a knocking...shes was all you could think about. You loved her. You cradled her and gave her the same mean ass dick that you give me. So lets not make things what they are not simply because the shit has hit the diaper. I'm just saying.
Men don't have it too easy either. They get hit with the "this nigga aint doing right by me" bit when CLEARLY you were on your BS when ya'll were together! Then there are the poor men who are such stand up guys that they will take care of the child that isnt theirs simply bc they feel like its the right thing to do. And to those men I salute you. I hold every father to the tone that my Daddy has set. I love that man, and he has always done his very best to do right by me and my 4 sisters... and his stepson frm his ex wife. Always being there for the 6 of us and our mothers if necessesary. I wish his breed of man was not such an endangered species.
And finally, my hat goes off to the women who stick by their men and the men who stick by their women NO MATTER WHAT! They don't care which chick is having their mans baby. And because they love their man or woman so much, the child which is a direct reflection of the person they love gets nothing but treated like their own child. No matter how much they can look at that child and see that it is not theirs they love that child unconditionally. My stepmom is one of those type of women. My mothers mom was that type of a woman , and lastly my man's mom is that type of a woman. The question now, (seeing as how this is my blog and all. lol) Am I ready, and do I have what it takes to be that type of a woman?
I think that question is easily answered since I am asking the question. If I was certain there would be no doubt in my mind what so over. But seeing as how our relationship never really left the ground , and we've only been rockin for a few months tops, our foundation aint sturdy enough for that heavy of a load. Love however in my opinion fortifies bonds and grounds as shaky as these. It makes a temporary fortress for that person so that they can cross this bridge of life with someone who loves and cares for them. And maybe when the purpose is served the person bows out gracefully. Who knows?
When he told me the dilema. Which I am realizing is becoming all but too common in this society in this day and age I could do nothing but think of this song, although it isnt super relative. It was all I could sing while washing his dishes at his house.
Funny how Mary has a song for every occasion.
REJECTED!
Ok, so here is the first of two very honest posts.
My ex rejected me. And a bitch is still kinda tight about the shit. Not on some boo hoo wanna go bust the windows out of a niggas car or nun. But more like a ...."Shit, U kno u wanna hang out with me!" lol. Its funny. But I am the biggest believer in Kharma I've rejected many a nigga and I see it is finally my turn. Thats the breaks I guess.
Speaking of breaks I'm getting a car and I can not express how fucking excited I am. I mean, I'm excited like all of the drunk off beer white people were when they found out the Philly's one the world series.
(BTW the shit happened a minute ago, I'm sick of the fucking memorobilia; if you werent there destroying the city with the rest of us, you have no idea wat u missed, no autographed balls can fix that for you) And this is related to the title of the post bc I am rejecting the notion that I should still be excited about that or hope that the Eagles win the SuperBowl.
My ex rejected me. And a bitch is still kinda tight about the shit. Not on some boo hoo wanna go bust the windows out of a niggas car or nun. But more like a ...."Shit, U kno u wanna hang out with me!" lol. Its funny. But I am the biggest believer in Kharma I've rejected many a nigga and I see it is finally my turn. Thats the breaks I guess.
Speaking of breaks I'm getting a car and I can not express how fucking excited I am. I mean, I'm excited like all of the drunk off beer white people were when they found out the Philly's one the world series.
(BTW the shit happened a minute ago, I'm sick of the fucking memorobilia; if you werent there destroying the city with the rest of us, you have no idea wat u missed, no autographed balls can fix that for you) And this is related to the title of the post bc I am rejecting the notion that I should still be excited about that or hope that the Eagles win the SuperBowl.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Santa Baby
Christmas was really better than I expected this year. I definitely cleaned up. Fendi frames, Coach sneakers, Puma bag (thnx B), family heirloom and cash. Did well if you ask me. Then I was talking about the things I received with a co-worker... and I instantly got this thing in my heart for my son. The day named day that he ever decides to go and buy a female who is not his wife, me, sister or something like that some $400 frames Imma whoop his fucking ass. I simply don't get it.
However, they look GREAT on me!
However, they look GREAT on me!
Introdcution
Welcome 2009. Happy New Year and all that jazz. There's this chick who writes this blog that 'Nita put me on too. Honestly, I now read hers, 'Nita and Chris' religiously. By reading these 3 very different yet thoroughly entertaining blogs in addtion to having stimulating conversation with old friends I came to the conclusion that being honest and real with these here blogs are way more beneficial than being censored. So new year, new game plan and development of a different style. Here Goes Nothing!
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