Im in a funk. And I want to write. But I can't think of anything to write. I'm feelin a whole lot of shit but in no means want to do a complaining or sappy post. Shit happens and I seriously think this year was one for the history books. I'm different. It took a year and a day but I think I'm jaded and it may or may not be a good thing. I think the rose colored glasses that i once wore are now a thing of the past and I'm a little bit more selfish and a lot more skeptical of others. Down right not trusting people. Like seriously. I feel like I can't trust a soul in the world right now, maybe with the exception of my mother who honestly can't be my best friend because talking to her at times is an incredible testimony and trial of my patience.
Ex
1) "Mom, I really need a car"... her response
" Well, I went to church and someone drove there this one time and we had lunch after and the lunch was good even though I didn't expect it to be."
Seriously
In the midst of this tranisition maybe I gotta cut the umbilical cord. Or I may hang myself for being so frustrated.
*******
I've been on this binge with Twilight. I think I will right a post about my love affair with the saga soon.
*******
I had a final today, didnt study a lick and showed up 45 minutes late
*******
I found out yesterday that emotional drinkin is simply not for me
*******
Fuck this, I need a pedicure.
1
Friday, May 8, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Best Medicine
Aiight, 3:45 AM, typing a paper. Thoughts are all over the place. So I took a study break and got my extreme creative writing on. Naturally it was inspired by my paper I'm writing for Pathophysiology. Guess what topic we're on? STDs and urinary and reproductive disorders. Guess who is highest on the totem pole for getting HIV? You, guessed it, black women. Guess how many of those black women contracted the disease from their MONOGOMOUS partner? More than half. Hope more of you knew this information prior to reading this. Hope this is no news. If not. Wake up ladies. Wake up fellas. SHIT IS REAL!
*****
Baby u aint Babu and I ain’t got no Lupe Cool Thoughts for you
Only thing I got for you is heat
Your face is about to get stomped on like my sister steppin beats
I have no idea how you got time to be up in those streets
When I just bought some Egyptian cotton sheets
Lets not forget the candles or the bubble bath I ran
Still doesn’t make a difference to this simple assed man
Cant see that he’s passin up a Mercedes for the mystery van
So go on ahead and leave dependability to satisfy your curiousity
You will be satisfied at first but soon realize the monstrosity
Trying to get full off of a snack wrap
Not knowin that that nasty bitch would make you get the clap
Now you thought you come on back to old faithful
This poem lets you know that I’m nothing but hateful
And you’re lucky disease got to you before I did
Cuz hunny , you would be runnin ‘round this bitch wit no eyelids
Then maybe you would be able to see a little better
Make you would soak up that the grass aint always greener where its wetter
Thought u were big pimpin
Now your third leg is limpin
Please don’t get mad when I laugh, didn’t mean to sin
But in my case laughter is the best medicine
*****
Baby u aint Babu and I ain’t got no Lupe Cool Thoughts for you
Only thing I got for you is heat
Your face is about to get stomped on like my sister steppin beats
I have no idea how you got time to be up in those streets
When I just bought some Egyptian cotton sheets
Lets not forget the candles or the bubble bath I ran
Still doesn’t make a difference to this simple assed man
Cant see that he’s passin up a Mercedes for the mystery van
So go on ahead and leave dependability to satisfy your curiousity
You will be satisfied at first but soon realize the monstrosity
Trying to get full off of a snack wrap
Not knowin that that nasty bitch would make you get the clap
Now you thought you come on back to old faithful
This poem lets you know that I’m nothing but hateful
And you’re lucky disease got to you before I did
Cuz hunny , you would be runnin ‘round this bitch wit no eyelids
Then maybe you would be able to see a little better
Make you would soak up that the grass aint always greener where its wetter
Thought u were big pimpin
Now your third leg is limpin
Please don’t get mad when I laugh, didn’t mean to sin
But in my case laughter is the best medicine
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
I Run This
Disclaimer***
This post is not supposed to be raunchy, nasty or anything of the sort. It's supposed to be real
No, this is not your pussy
It's mine
So please
Don't ask while your smacking my ass all wild.
"Who's pussy is this"
I will simply respond, it is mine
I am the one who takes care of this bitch.
I am the one who knows her every want and desire
I am the one who anticipates and tells her when to come
I run her, she in no way runs me
So please, understand
That my pussy is a part of me
Not the other way around
I love her
She's my bitch
But seriously
She's mine, not yours
And I have the right to share her with whoever I deem worthy, regardless of whether they are or not
I also have the right to deny you access to her, whenever I so chose.
Didn't know that some men simply didn't get it.
Hate to quote Beyonce but " If you like it then you should have put a ring on it" (or at least a commitment)
This post is not supposed to be raunchy, nasty or anything of the sort. It's supposed to be real
No, this is not your pussy
It's mine
So please
Don't ask while your smacking my ass all wild.
"Who's pussy is this"
I will simply respond, it is mine
I am the one who takes care of this bitch.
I am the one who knows her every want and desire
I am the one who anticipates and tells her when to come
I run her, she in no way runs me
So please, understand
That my pussy is a part of me
Not the other way around
I love her
She's my bitch
But seriously
She's mine, not yours
And I have the right to share her with whoever I deem worthy, regardless of whether they are or not
I also have the right to deny you access to her, whenever I so chose.
Didn't know that some men simply didn't get it.
Hate to quote Beyonce but " If you like it then you should have put a ring on it" (or at least a commitment)
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
ROTFL
A few posts down I was talking about my strained relationship with God. Where I felt the distance and honestly, I been missing him. Since then, I've been pretty stressed, dealing with a couple things that have had me a little shaken. Not necessarily shaken from Him but have shook me up quite a bit.
So I gave Him a call. I reached into that hotline of prayer and we gots a talking. We talked about my past 20 years and how much I have learned and have grown. We talked about every single, bump, scrape, and bruise I have endured and even the 5 car pile-ups and like He promised,...."One day, you're going to look back at this and laugh" It wasn't so funny at the time but now ROTFL:
I'm rolling laughing at my foolishness.
Rolling laughing at how much I thought I knew, when I had no clue
Rolling on the floor and laughing, how I though I could make a plan
Rolling with tears in my eyes on how I thought I needed a man
Pointing in the mirror hysterically laughing when I judged her as though I could
He has put some laughing gas in my possession and I am not afraid to use it
I love this substance and I cant wait to abuse it
He gave me life abundantly and I'll be damned if I lose it
I need to keep this feeling for ever so I better take the hits and use it
This feeling is so good I should juice it
Bottle it up and give it to the masses and watch them straight lose it
Lose their minds, lose there worries
Let 'em know that he's on his way with the good good, just in time, no need to hurry
So I'm relaxed cuz I know that he got me
And He Was in fact "worried about what club I went to with my homies"
but It's cool
Cuz He got me
When I was on the subway at 4 AM with you know who
It's cool cuz He got me
When I "tripped and fall, went up in raw"
He got me
Even when I didn't realize I am a "heaven-sent instrument"
He got me
So we sat back and had this rap
Laughed and laughed till my sides hurt
He laughed real hard at that one
Told me if I wanted to know about side pain to ask His Son
He told me to love that pain, because that's when the battle was won
Told me he went through that so I can get through this
He told me that it was all part of the plan, no accident
So now when I laugh, I'm gonna try to remember
and laugh when I thank him for getting me through the "coldest winter"
Some April Fool's Day
So I gave Him a call. I reached into that hotline of prayer and we gots a talking. We talked about my past 20 years and how much I have learned and have grown. We talked about every single, bump, scrape, and bruise I have endured and even the 5 car pile-ups and like He promised,...."One day, you're going to look back at this and laugh" It wasn't so funny at the time but now ROTFL:
I'm rolling laughing at my foolishness.
Rolling laughing at how much I thought I knew, when I had no clue
Rolling on the floor and laughing, how I though I could make a plan
Rolling with tears in my eyes on how I thought I needed a man
Pointing in the mirror hysterically laughing when I judged her as though I could
He has put some laughing gas in my possession and I am not afraid to use it
I love this substance and I cant wait to abuse it
He gave me life abundantly and I'll be damned if I lose it
I need to keep this feeling for ever so I better take the hits and use it
This feeling is so good I should juice it
Bottle it up and give it to the masses and watch them straight lose it
Lose their minds, lose there worries
Let 'em know that he's on his way with the good good, just in time, no need to hurry
So I'm relaxed cuz I know that he got me
And He Was in fact "worried about what club I went to with my homies"
but It's cool
Cuz He got me
When I was on the subway at 4 AM with you know who
It's cool cuz He got me
When I "tripped and fall, went up in raw"
He got me
Even when I didn't realize I am a "heaven-sent instrument"
He got me
So we sat back and had this rap
Laughed and laughed till my sides hurt
He laughed real hard at that one
Told me if I wanted to know about side pain to ask His Son
He told me to love that pain, because that's when the battle was won
Told me he went through that so I can get through this
He told me that it was all part of the plan, no accident
So now when I laugh, I'm gonna try to remember
and laugh when I thank him for getting me through the "coldest winter"
Some April Fool's Day
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Not New but Still Painful
So, regardless of your faith you know that the first murder was of Abel commited by his brother Cain. I live in North Philadelphia and not much has changed. People killing their brothers at an alarming rate. This is not an ode to how much better I wish things could be. But a cry out at how angry I am that this feeling of grief is now a personal one for me and my family. My uncle was murdered. Im am in no way delusional enough to not understand that kharma is a bitch and the amount of people whose lives he has destroyed is insurmountable and essentially the man had it coming. But regardless of his transgressions, he was my Daddy's little brother and my uncle.
BY COREY ROBINSON Observer staff reporter robinsonc@jamaicaobserver.com
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
GUNMEN yesterday went on a murder spree in the Corporate Area and St Catherine, killing seven persons in an almost 15-hour span.
Five of the murders, including two double killings, occurred in the St Andrew North Police Division, pushing the murder tally in that area to 27 since the start of the year.
Carolyn Jenierre's mother (centre) is a picture of grief as she is comforted by her church sisters at her daughter's murder scene. (Photo: Michael Gordon)
Police, up until late yesterday, were only able to identify four of the dead. They are:
. Petrojam accountant Andre Jenniere, 45, and his wife, 39-year-old Carolyn - a lecturer at the University of Technology (UTech) School of Nursing;
. 63-year-old wholesale operator Elsie Armstrong; and
. gas station operator Sylvan McPherson, 38; ))
Among the dead was a security guard who the police alleged was the brother of dancehall artiste Desmond Ballentine, more popularly known as 'Ninjaman'.
In the first incident, which occurred at about 3:00 am, gunmen forced open a window to the Jennieres' home on Cypress Drive in Red Hills, St Andrew and sprayed them with bullets.
Police said that their blooded corpses were discovered shortly before dawn by their nine-year-old daughter, who, along with her younger brother, slept through their parents' murder in a separate room.
Yesterday, frightened neighbours, relatives and co-workers who gathered outside the Jennieres' home questioned the killers' motives.
"Why would someone want to hurt Carolyn. Carolyn would never hurt a fly," said a grieving Dr Sarafadeen Adebayo, head of the School of Pharmacy and Medical Sciences at UTech. "She does not deserve this... Government will have to do something about this [crime] problem 'cause when you have professionals who are supposed to help in the development of the country being murdered, it spells destruction for our future."
In the Armstrong murder, police said that they were puzzled as to how her attackers gained access to her apartment at the newly-opened Isles of Grosvenor housing scheme on Grosvenor Terrace, also in St Andrew, and murdered her as well as the security guard.
Both were found with stab wounds in separate apartments at about 6:00 am, police said.
While the cops were processing that scene about 3:00 pm, gunshots rang out at the Total gas station near the foot of Red Hills. On their arrival at the scene, police found McPherson's bullet-riddled body. The police were told that men on a motorcycle drove up and shot McPherson. He died on the spot.
In the St Catherine North Police Division, police are probing the murders of two unidentified men whose bodies were found with gunshot wounds to the back of their heads in bushes at Featherbed Lane in Spanish Town early yesterday morning.
Rest In Peace Uncle Cory, forever and always.
BY COREY ROBINSON Observer staff reporter robinsonc@jamaicaobserver.com
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
GUNMEN yesterday went on a murder spree in the Corporate Area and St Catherine, killing seven persons in an almost 15-hour span.
Five of the murders, including two double killings, occurred in the St Andrew North Police Division, pushing the murder tally in that area to 27 since the start of the year.
Carolyn Jenierre's mother (centre) is a picture of grief as she is comforted by her church sisters at her daughter's murder scene. (Photo: Michael Gordon)
Police, up until late yesterday, were only able to identify four of the dead. They are:
. Petrojam accountant Andre Jenniere, 45, and his wife, 39-year-old Carolyn - a lecturer at the University of Technology (UTech) School of Nursing;
. 63-year-old wholesale operator Elsie Armstrong; and
. gas station operator Sylvan McPherson, 38; ))
Among the dead was a security guard who the police alleged was the brother of dancehall artiste Desmond Ballentine, more popularly known as 'Ninjaman'.
In the first incident, which occurred at about 3:00 am, gunmen forced open a window to the Jennieres' home on Cypress Drive in Red Hills, St Andrew and sprayed them with bullets.
Police said that their blooded corpses were discovered shortly before dawn by their nine-year-old daughter, who, along with her younger brother, slept through their parents' murder in a separate room.
Yesterday, frightened neighbours, relatives and co-workers who gathered outside the Jennieres' home questioned the killers' motives.
"Why would someone want to hurt Carolyn. Carolyn would never hurt a fly," said a grieving Dr Sarafadeen Adebayo, head of the School of Pharmacy and Medical Sciences at UTech. "She does not deserve this... Government will have to do something about this [crime] problem 'cause when you have professionals who are supposed to help in the development of the country being murdered, it spells destruction for our future."
In the Armstrong murder, police said that they were puzzled as to how her attackers gained access to her apartment at the newly-opened Isles of Grosvenor housing scheme on Grosvenor Terrace, also in St Andrew, and murdered her as well as the security guard.
Both were found with stab wounds in separate apartments at about 6:00 am, police said.
While the cops were processing that scene about 3:00 pm, gunshots rang out at the Total gas station near the foot of Red Hills. On their arrival at the scene, police found McPherson's bullet-riddled body. The police were told that men on a motorcycle drove up and shot McPherson. He died on the spot.
In the St Catherine North Police Division, police are probing the murders of two unidentified men whose bodies were found with gunshot wounds to the back of their heads in bushes at Featherbed Lane in Spanish Town early yesterday morning.
Rest In Peace Uncle Cory, forever and always.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Better than the Movies
**Based on true events that I just witnessed less than 20 minutes ago**
So I overslept today. Alarm completely doesn't work so I awoke at 10, mind you, my class is at 9 and over at 12 and I have an exam at 2. SOOOO the goal was to be up and out the door at 830. My biological clock is completely off because I slept till 2pm, worked till 12am and went back to sleep at 4am so i can completely understand my body giving me the ill fuck you and your plans of academic success, sleep on playa! (fmylife.com/Ihateoversleeping) ((not an actual site, I just love reading fmylife, so when anything goes wrong, thats what I say))
I Digress***
I get up after this late morning start fiasco and hightail it (where did that phrase even come from) to the tech center bus stop so I can catch the shuttle, no point in wasting a token if you're already late. In the spirit of being late I decide to get breakfast, take a sit down at the window and enjoy.
A nice young man, white guy with long hair, torn clothes and an edgy look, with a 5'oclock shadow and killer blue eyes sits next to me. We both commence our breakfast sandwich eating in silence when this big blob of a frat boy plops himself next to Stone (I think the dude looks like his name should be) He's says
Blob: Dude....didn't you go out with Lindsey?
Stone: Yea, ummm, im sorry...whats your name?
Blob: Yea, my name is "blob"
Stone: Yea man, we're not together.
Blob: Dude, what happened?
PAUSE
Now, lets just back track for a second. Stone and Blob aren't even friends. After asking Stone, when Blob left, Stone tells me that Blob is one of Lindsey's friends that she went to a dance with last year and that they met once. All this means is that they don't know each other from a can of paint. So he has no idea whether Stone was contemplating suicide at the loss of Lindsey, or if it was sore topic, or if he was on the phone with some other chick, (bc rude blob came up and started this convo while Stone was on the phone)
PRESS PLAY
Stone: (Being ultra sexy and polite) Just didn't work out man, we want different things. She's 19, I'm 24. No fault of either of ours, just didnt work. We're at different places
Blob: O
Its like Blob was all disappointed by his answer and shit. I dunno. It made for a way better morning show than my usual Saved By The Bell repeats, figured I would share.
So I overslept today. Alarm completely doesn't work so I awoke at 10, mind you, my class is at 9 and over at 12 and I have an exam at 2. SOOOO the goal was to be up and out the door at 830. My biological clock is completely off because I slept till 2pm, worked till 12am and went back to sleep at 4am so i can completely understand my body giving me the ill fuck you and your plans of academic success, sleep on playa! (fmylife.com/Ihateoversleeping) ((not an actual site, I just love reading fmylife, so when anything goes wrong, thats what I say))
I Digress***
I get up after this late morning start fiasco and hightail it (where did that phrase even come from) to the tech center bus stop so I can catch the shuttle, no point in wasting a token if you're already late. In the spirit of being late I decide to get breakfast, take a sit down at the window and enjoy.
A nice young man, white guy with long hair, torn clothes and an edgy look, with a 5'oclock shadow and killer blue eyes sits next to me. We both commence our breakfast sandwich eating in silence when this big blob of a frat boy plops himself next to Stone (I think the dude looks like his name should be) He's says
Blob: Dude....didn't you go out with Lindsey?
Stone: Yea, ummm, im sorry...whats your name?
Blob: Yea, my name is "blob"
Stone: Yea man, we're not together.
Blob: Dude, what happened?
PAUSE
Now, lets just back track for a second. Stone and Blob aren't even friends. After asking Stone, when Blob left, Stone tells me that Blob is one of Lindsey's friends that she went to a dance with last year and that they met once. All this means is that they don't know each other from a can of paint. So he has no idea whether Stone was contemplating suicide at the loss of Lindsey, or if it was sore topic, or if he was on the phone with some other chick, (bc rude blob came up and started this convo while Stone was on the phone)
PRESS PLAY
Stone: (Being ultra sexy and polite) Just didn't work out man, we want different things. She's 19, I'm 24. No fault of either of ours, just didnt work. We're at different places
Blob: O
Its like Blob was all disappointed by his answer and shit. I dunno. It made for a way better morning show than my usual Saved By The Bell repeats, figured I would share.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tokyo
I've only been here for a day and I'm done with it. Not to say that I'm not going to enjoy the rest of my time here by any means, but I honestly don't think I can feel any happier or anymore appreciative of the experience. I'm really thankful that my mother and high school instilled the value and importance of traveling to me. It is something I will forever be indebted to them for.
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