Not Just a Speach

They've told you to do it since the beginning of time

"Dream big, you can be anything you want to be"

At some point down the line, the word dream began to take a negative connotation in my life. It became synonomous with fantasy and unattainable. I guess because some peoples dreams come true, and not all dreams are good. - They're downright nightmares

And as per usual, it just takes one bad apple to spoil the bunch. So dreaming became obsolete. Let alone dreaming big and fearlessly.

Fortunately for some, they untangle the cord of this game of telephone and get the message clear. Dreaming is ok. Dreaming bigger is even better. And stop at nothing to make your dream a reality.

Thank God for the dreamers. With out them where would we be? Martin had a dream. And so did Israel. Lets not forget about Joseph. These are some of the greatest dreams ever recorded

So shout outs to those with the courage and faith to dream, it is the essence of life. Making them come to fruition is simply the icing on the cake

I kinda like this one. =)

Hey Ya'll!

Ok, So to the 4 or 5 of you that read this blog (and I think that is a MAJOR overstatment) My apologies, life has been getting in the way of blogging. Took me a while to realize but maybe it is better that I write the ish down, who knows? Might make a decent book one of these days.

"I been gone for a minute now I'm back with the jump off!"

I'm F@&^in' Up (oldie frm the archives)

So, needless to say, I've been facing a lot of adversities. Then again, which adult who is self suffienct doesn't have adversity. Mine however involve a personal issue with learning how to say F U to someone and trully mean it. I would LOVE to be able to look at or think of a person with complete distain and hate them. And yes, hate is a strong word... blah blah blah and you shouldn't wear white after labor day but the shit happens.

While at church today, (I finally went) I heard probably the most ridiculous thing I heard my pastor say ever. Please, do not misunderstand. My pastor is a learned brother. Humble, wholesome and very real with his. Apparently there is a little acronym floating around in Vaction Bible School's across the nation that preach J-O-Y. This is the order in which you should love. J for Jesus. (Ok, I'm totally with that.) O for others. (Huh?) and Y for you. (yes ,you finish dead last) Seriously, I kinda been rockin with this for a while. I thought about it and time and time again, no matter how many times I have been caught butt naked and beaten with a wet rag by some raggedy assed people I STILL look for the good, believe good excuses and try to cope.

.... theres a patient in the ER high on PCP.... im pretty sure some shit like this drove him to it.. lol. excuse me while I consult my pusher

Funk

Im in a funk. And I want to write. But I can't think of anything to write. I'm feelin a whole lot of shit but in no means want to do a complaining or sappy post. Shit happens and I seriously think this year was one for the history books. I'm different. It took a year and a day but I think I'm jaded and it may or may not be a good thing. I think the rose colored glasses that i once wore are now a thing of the past and I'm a little bit more selfish and a lot more skeptical of others. Down right not trusting people. Like seriously. I feel like I can't trust a soul in the world right now, maybe with the exception of my mother who honestly can't be my best friend because talking to her at times is an incredible testimony and trial of my patience.

Ex

1) "Mom, I really need a car"... her response

" Well, I went to church and someone drove there this one time and we had lunch after and the lunch was good even though I didn't expect it to be."

Seriously

In the midst of this tranisition maybe I gotta cut the umbilical cord. Or I may hang myself for being so frustrated.

*******

I've been on this binge with Twilight. I think I will right a post about my love affair with the saga soon.

*******

I had a final today, didnt study a lick and showed up 45 minutes late

*******

I found out yesterday that emotional drinkin is simply not for me

*******

Fuck this, I need a pedicure.

1

Best Medicine

Aiight, 3:45 AM, typing a paper. Thoughts are all over the place. So I took a study break and got my extreme creative writing on. Naturally it was inspired by my paper I'm writing for Pathophysiology. Guess what topic we're on? STDs and urinary and reproductive disorders. Guess who is highest on the totem pole for getting HIV? You, guessed it, black women. Guess how many of those black women contracted the disease from their MONOGOMOUS partner? More than half. Hope more of you knew this information prior to reading this. Hope this is no news. If not. Wake up ladies. Wake up fellas. SHIT IS REAL!



*****

Baby u aint Babu and I ain’t got no Lupe Cool Thoughts for you
Only thing I got for you is heat
Your face is about to get stomped on like my sister steppin beats
I have no idea how you got time to be up in those streets
When I just bought some Egyptian cotton sheets
Lets not forget the candles or the bubble bath I ran
Still doesn’t make a difference to this simple assed man
Cant see that he’s passin up a Mercedes for the mystery van
So go on ahead and leave dependability to satisfy your curiousity
You will be satisfied at first but soon realize the monstrosity
Trying to get full off of a snack wrap
Not knowin that that nasty bitch would make you get the clap
Now you thought you come on back to old faithful
This poem lets you know that I’m nothing but hateful
And you’re lucky disease got to you before I did
Cuz hunny , you would be runnin ‘round this bitch wit no eyelids
Then maybe you would be able to see a little better
Make you would soak up that the grass aint always greener where its wetter
Thought u were big pimpin
Now your third leg is limpin
Please don’t get mad when I laugh, didn’t mean to sin
But in my case laughter is the best medicine

I Run This

Disclaimer***

This post is not supposed to be raunchy, nasty or anything of the sort. It's supposed to be real

No, this is not your pussy
It's mine
So please
Don't ask while your smacking my ass all wild.

"Who's pussy is this"

I will simply respond, it is mine

I am the one who takes care of this bitch.
I am the one who knows her every want and desire
I am the one who anticipates and tells her when to come
I run her, she in no way runs me
So please, understand
That my pussy is a part of me
Not the other way around
I love her
She's my bitch
But seriously
She's mine, not yours
And I have the right to share her with whoever I deem worthy, regardless of whether they are or not
I also have the right to deny you access to her, whenever I so chose.

Didn't know that some men simply didn't get it.

Hate to quote Beyonce but " If you like it then you should have put a ring on it" (or at least a commitment)

ROTFL

A few posts down I was talking about my strained relationship with God. Where I felt the distance and honestly, I been missing him. Since then, I've been pretty stressed, dealing with a couple things that have had me a little shaken. Not necessarily shaken from Him but have shook me up quite a bit.

So I gave Him a call. I reached into that hotline of prayer and we gots a talking. We talked about my past 20 years and how much I have learned and have grown. We talked about every single, bump, scrape, and bruise I have endured and even the 5 car pile-ups and like He promised,...."One day, you're going to look back at this and laugh" It wasn't so funny at the time but now ROTFL:

I'm rolling laughing at my foolishness.
Rolling laughing at how much I thought I knew, when I had no clue
Rolling on the floor and laughing, how I though I could make a plan
Rolling with tears in my eyes on how I thought I needed a man
Pointing in the mirror hysterically laughing when I judged her as though I could
He has put some laughing gas in my possession and I am not afraid to use it
I love this substance and I cant wait to abuse it
He gave me life abundantly and I'll be damned if I lose it
I need to keep this feeling for ever so I better take the hits and use it
This feeling is so good I should juice it
Bottle it up and give it to the masses and watch them straight lose it
Lose their minds, lose there worries
Let 'em know that he's on his way with the good good, just in time, no need to hurry
So I'm relaxed cuz I know that he got me
And He Was in fact "worried about what club I went to with my homies"
but It's cool
Cuz He got me
When I was on the subway at 4 AM with you know who
It's cool cuz He got me
When I "tripped and fall, went up in raw"
He got me
Even when I didn't realize I am a "heaven-sent instrument"
He got me
So we sat back and had this rap
Laughed and laughed till my sides hurt
He laughed real hard at that one
Told me if I wanted to know about side pain to ask His Son
He told me to love that pain, because that's when the battle was won
Told me he went through that so I can get through this
He told me that it was all part of the plan, no accident
So now when I laugh, I'm gonna try to remember
and laugh when I thank him for getting me through the "coldest winter"

Some April Fool's Day