So I have a favorite blog, then again, its the only blog I read regularly. On it there was a pic of a fish diagram. Point = if you don't like something change it. I dont like somethings. Guess what I'm going to do? All smiles from here on out. =)

The Dark Ages

As I've said several times, I HIGHLY doubt that anyone in the universe reads my blog, since I blog so infrequently. Usually, I blog when I'm within seconds of my breaking point. Here we are, yet again. lol. Not much has changed.

I remember a period in history class I learned about referred to as the dark ages. It was the time in which there was thought to be no considerable growth in society, it was supposed to be a time where there was a decline in the society. The great Roman empire had hit its peak prior to this period. There were great advancements in architecture, styles, literature during the Roman empire; and then it collapsed. After the collapse of the empire were the Dark Ages. After the Dark Ages was the beginning of the Renassaince, and we all know how wonderful the rebirth was for all aspects of life.

I guess this is where I am now. I am actively in the Darkest of my Ages. Horrible grades, complicated love life. Grief @ work and home, and I finally realized my "friends" are few and far between, and those who I hold in the highest regards... I shouldnt. So, here I am, in the Dark Ages, waiting for this time in my life to be renamed the Middle Ages.

After a while, people reviewed the Dark Ages and decided that the period was necessary for the Rebirth to be as wonderful as it was. So they took the Darkness out of the ages, and more appropriately named it the Middle Ages. The time in between greatness. I'm gonna regard this time before greatness as the baking time. Here I am, at my worst and darkest ages.

Can't wait to be reborn...

My Name

I'm starting to kinda like the sound of my own last name
Don't wanna hold it forever, but I'm a strong woman and I would like, although I do not need, an even stronger man to support me.
And if he don't hold me down like my Dad does then his name and mine are nothing more than oil and vinger and they simply dont mix
They need to sound so good together they make sense.
I want our names to match like mac 'n' cheese or PB&J.... better yet, I want it to sound soothing like Cambells, just Mmmm Mmmm Good!
I want a name that commands my first name to the point that there is a magnetic, undeniable force that needs the two to be joined at the hip forever.
They type of last name that in my eyes is so powerful that it can protect the identity of my first by allowing me to use Mrs as a shield of honor and the first name you have to go thru before even becoming aquaintented, because my man, simply doesn't play the "everyone has my wife's name in their mouth game"
Therefore my king, you must put your best self forward because you are now the owner of a thorough-bred and you need to make sure you're a hair faster than me so you can catch me if I miss something in my blindspot

Stick It (Dreams II)

I got the dreams, I got the juice.... hard part over

Now what do I do?

How do I make them stick?

Maybe, I should just swallow some glue and pray I don't get sick

"Get your head out the clouds"

"Get a grip"

Little do they now I have a firm grasp on this dream and I can't let it slip

Can't let it vanish into thin air

I need it to survive, need it to thrive, I need this dream to keep me alive

It's like bringing a knife to a gun fight

Bringin Dream into a room of pesimist.

He almost always looses, that is unless your dream is swift

quick and agile on it's feet

able to shake the haters and those who linger in disbelief

Shield it from them, misery loves company and birds of a feather flock together

so let your head stay in the clouds, thats where it belongs

right along with the eagles and always clear weather.

Not Just a Speach

They've told you to do it since the beginning of time

"Dream big, you can be anything you want to be"

At some point down the line, the word dream began to take a negative connotation in my life. It became synonomous with fantasy and unattainable. I guess because some peoples dreams come true, and not all dreams are good. - They're downright nightmares

And as per usual, it just takes one bad apple to spoil the bunch. So dreaming became obsolete. Let alone dreaming big and fearlessly.

Fortunately for some, they untangle the cord of this game of telephone and get the message clear. Dreaming is ok. Dreaming bigger is even better. And stop at nothing to make your dream a reality.

Thank God for the dreamers. With out them where would we be? Martin had a dream. And so did Israel. Lets not forget about Joseph. These are some of the greatest dreams ever recorded

So shout outs to those with the courage and faith to dream, it is the essence of life. Making them come to fruition is simply the icing on the cake

I kinda like this one. =)

Hey Ya'll!

Ok, So to the 4 or 5 of you that read this blog (and I think that is a MAJOR overstatment) My apologies, life has been getting in the way of blogging. Took me a while to realize but maybe it is better that I write the ish down, who knows? Might make a decent book one of these days.

"I been gone for a minute now I'm back with the jump off!"

I'm F@&^in' Up (oldie frm the archives)

So, needless to say, I've been facing a lot of adversities. Then again, which adult who is self suffienct doesn't have adversity. Mine however involve a personal issue with learning how to say F U to someone and trully mean it. I would LOVE to be able to look at or think of a person with complete distain and hate them. And yes, hate is a strong word... blah blah blah and you shouldn't wear white after labor day but the shit happens.

While at church today, (I finally went) I heard probably the most ridiculous thing I heard my pastor say ever. Please, do not misunderstand. My pastor is a learned brother. Humble, wholesome and very real with his. Apparently there is a little acronym floating around in Vaction Bible School's across the nation that preach J-O-Y. This is the order in which you should love. J for Jesus. (Ok, I'm totally with that.) O for others. (Huh?) and Y for you. (yes ,you finish dead last) Seriously, I kinda been rockin with this for a while. I thought about it and time and time again, no matter how many times I have been caught butt naked and beaten with a wet rag by some raggedy assed people I STILL look for the good, believe good excuses and try to cope.

.... theres a patient in the ER high on PCP.... im pretty sure some shit like this drove him to it.. lol. excuse me while I consult my pusher